Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
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8:36 pm - lol kittens
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i gave jack a bath.
i am thinking about applying to UT Austin when i get out of the military.
i like a boy.
this boy might or might not be my boyfriend. :-)
i like him a lot.
i had a nose job.
said nose job really fucking hurt.
my cousin is talking to me again :-)
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Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
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10:12 pm
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back to basics.
my hair is now its original colour again.
YEEHHH
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Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
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6:09 pm - :-(
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i stil can't believe polaroid cameras aren't making instant stuff any more
like i know its been at least a year.. but it is kinda depressing i miss polaroid photos already
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Saturday, August 22nd, 2009
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3:09 pm - gag
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I made my next rank on the 20th.
I don't really know how i feel about it.
The biggest feeling i have is Apathy.
Apathy (from Merriam-Webster online dictionary): 1 : lack of feeling or emotion : impassiveness 2 : lack of interest or concern : indifference
and everyone asking me "You're going to stay in now right?!" really pissed me off.
No. I am not staying in. there is no way i am staying in.
If i can get a 365 deployment i will stay in until I get out of the military. But if i can't or it isn't possible, then I will get out and see about getting out before christmas.
If i can start college by the end of next year, i will be one happy camper.
egads. I'm so jumpy.
and i had a JP dream last night about a carnival, on a ferris wheel, and a blown away mad hatters hat.
WTF.
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Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
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5:05 pm - e.e
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i was almost 2 hours late to work today. EPIC FAIL ON MY ALARMS PART
i need to set up an appointment to see the legal office about getting out of the military early.
there is a way and i'm shooting for it.
I'm nervous about getting out though. Because I don't want to fail ANYTHING like i have failed at the military. I know people tell me how utterly ridiculously easy University is.. and i'm just nervous about getting into the business school at URI. I know i totally will get in even if i have to do a semester or two at CCRI, but i know i'll get in and then i can work towards my degree in Entrepreneuring (wow i think ijust made that up. hella stella i am)
and then i will do my 4 semesters in HEBREW and hopefully make it to israel before i get out of college.
getting a job is a whole other issue. i need 700 bucks a month to live on.. without paying my parentals rent or buying myself food/having fun.
i mean i know i'll be unemployed for a few months.. and i will probably collect unemployment for the time as i wait for a job/college. and i'll get about 1000 a month from texas for unemployment. i mean it is better than nothing.. and i guess when i get back to RI i can look for a job at one of the hospitals working in records/front desk work. etc etc. shit. i can even ask Dean's dad if his company is hiring.
my Top Secret clearance has got to be worth SOMETHING in the civilian world.
I've been a nervous wreck all day
-deidre
current music: death cab for cutie
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Monday, August 17th, 2009
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11:38 pm - OMFG
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I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS
MY FAVOURITE BOOK SERIES (TOMORROW WHEN THE WAR BEGAN, BY JOHN MARSDEN) IS GETTING TURNED INTO A MOVIE SERIES.
HOLY SHIT!
I AM SO EXCITED!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
THIS IS SO INTENSE
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Wednesday, August 12th, 2009
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3:56 pm - yesh li Jeep!
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it would be way more bad ass if i could type in hebrew. but alas i cannot
BUT YES
AFTER 519 BUCKS I GOT THE JEEP BACK
AND OH BABY DOES SHE PURR....
OH YEAH LIKE A SEX KITTEN
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Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
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3:51 pm - JEEP JEEP JEEP
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THANK MOTHER FUCKING WHAT EVER IS OUT THERE
THE REPAIRS FOR MY JEEP ARE ONLY GOING TO BE ABOUT 400 BUCKS.. GIVE OR TAKE 50 BUCKS
I CAN TOTALLY AFFORD THIS
OH THANK YOU MERLIN!
AND IT ALL SHOULD BE DONE BY TOMORROW AFTERNOON SO I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET TO WORK ON UHH UHH THURSDAY?
YES.
-ON KNEES- THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
and then i can pay for a new sticker at the end of the month...
and i can get a tune up in september... because evidently i need one.
AND THEN I CAN GET MY WHEELS ALIGNED.
woo woo
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Monday, August 10th, 2009
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1:01 pm - LOLZ
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MAN DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE JENNIFER LOVE HUGETITS?
MAN SHE IS TOTS FAB.
man.. also want to know something silly? I've got a bloody nose.. AGAIN!
good times!
also. I'm addicted to Hana-kimi and also Ghost Whisperer..... catching up on season 2 today. tomorrow its season 3..
and MAN... ITS GREAT NOT GOING TO WORK FOR 7 DAYS!
YEAH BUDDY!
and update on the Jeep. So I had to get her towed. and everything in my fucking bank account is probably going to go to her getting fixed.
Good thing i get paid on friday.. RIGHT. RIGHT?
It could be a starter problem.. or a battery.. or a clutch. I'm HOPING IT IS NOT MY CLUTCH. oh god and I hoping it is not my clutch. if it is. I'm fucked.
word
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Sunday, August 2nd, 2009
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3:28 pm - e.e!
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i haven't updated for a week. how terrible.
lets see what happened this week:
I cried my way to work almost every day
failed my PT test
found out i put 6 inches in around my waist (that is what i get for binge eating and all that BULL SHITE)
went to the dr. and got an inhaler and i'm going to be tested for asthma. (HOLLER)
went to my sociologist and he spoke. i didn't speak much. i wasn't having a very good day and i was all nervous and i had had like 4 panic attacks and it was pretty terrible. and the subject of iraq came up and he finally realized i didn't talk about iraq at all with him and he stated "it was very curious" and made a note as i went on a tyrannical rant about how much i hate my job and everyone i work from (from the P-dawg down) and how a year ago i was fucking fine and i go to bloody iraq and i come back a bit fucked up in the head for no apparent reason. NO REASON AT ALL.
what else.
nothing really. i'm just fucking depressed still and i think it gets worse as the day goes on and my fag ass doctor gave me an appointment for the middle of august and he is a dick shit that doesn't want to treat me because he doesn't believe that i'm serious about fucking anything.
WAIT I AM SERIOUS ABOUT MOTHER FUCKING ONE THING. GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAREER FIELD. -smashes head against the table- i fucking hate this balls ass shit.
sorry for not making any sense
-D
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Sunday, July 26th, 2009
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9:00 pm - Future
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I look at myself in the mirror and ask myself everyday: "For someone who has hopes and dreams, why do you want to end your life?"
and I search and search for an answer and I don't have one.
Music, Mayhem, Friendship, Family, Order, and Chaos keep me going.
Finding a balance with all of those is hard to do, so I don't have a balance, it is overwhelming and I don't know how to deal with it all.
current mood:  distressed
current music: Enter Shikari- step up
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Thursday, July 23rd, 2009
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10:36 pm - woooo
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I just want to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for the tiki-mug.
IT IS SO EFFING BAD ASS.
WHAT-A-MUG!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
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Tuesday, July 21st, 2009
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7:40 pm - nervy-b
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I'm about to have a giant Nervy-b.
i'm wicked nervous about tomorrow. my dad has his bail hearing and hopefully they will get him out for time served. oh i really really hope they get him out on time served. :/
this whole bull shit is aggravating.
just once i get home there is going to be much worse than tagging and breaking of the fence. I'm heated and shit will go down. hella down.
I feel silly :/
fuck I miss home.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, July 20th, 2009
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6:59 pm - THANK YOU
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Saturday, July 18th, 2009
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11:11 am - sleep
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I'm just all fucked up and I wasn't like this a year ago.
i don't even think I've told you about my sleeping patterns. I just realized it the other day myself. so.. yeah:
i go to bed at like 10-11/12 every night... and between 2-3 every morning I wake up and i feel like my fucking apartment is shaking and i'm just lying in bed all WTF. and then eventually i go back to sleep a few minutes later after the shaking stops.
so I figured out WTF it is:
when i was in iraq everyday at about 12-1 there would be "controlled detonations" (which is the military blowing shit up on the base. which is kinda cool) and i would wake up during it with the trailer shaking and stuff and all that crap. and a few minutes later i would fall back asleep.
that is the ONLY explanation i have for my sleep.
current mood:  cold
current music: lacuna coil
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, July 16th, 2009
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4:35 pm - question
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WHEN YOU ARE A SIZE 7/9
HAVE 38 DD BREASTS
STAND AT 64.5 INCHES
AND ARE 166 POUNDS
ARE YOU OVER WEIGHT?
WELL GUESS WHAT I'LL GIVE YOU THE FUCKING ANSWER
THE AIR FORCE SAYS YES.
WHAT? THEY WANT ME TO ANOREXIC AND GET DOWN TO MOTHER FUCKING 134 POUNDS FINE I WILL. I'LL LOOK LIKE A DAMN CHERNOBYL SURVIVOR GETTING READY TO NURSE ABOUT 8 KIDS.
HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES
current music: ours- dancing alone
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Tuesday, July 14th, 2009
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9:26 pm - P.Y.T.
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If someone told you to listen to this:
and had made passes at you before...
what are your thoughts?
Should I be creeped out, am I thinking too much into it? do I really need the sleep my body is telling me i need?
But in other news, I am trying to get out. Things at home aren't too good and I've decided that my parental units need me more than I need to stay in the military and do all the bull shit that I do that a civilian can do cheaper. I'm ready to go to college to study business, and i might be ready to start living a real life.
Granted the whole "being in debt" kinda fucking sucks but after 5 months there won't be any. (Thank you GI bill, instant 1,500 bucks a month when i am going to college full time.) Plus if I get med boarded for being hella fucked up then there is the possibility that i could get med pay and VA pay. (Thanks Iraq. :-) )
Wanted to update anyone who cares. Sorry I've not been around. but yeah.. I'm ready to go to college and study and do all that wonderful stuff and be closer to my family and maybe start giving a shit about life again. But as long as I am toiling away at something that I utterly hate there isn't a way in HE double hockey sticks that i will be able to enjoy mysel. 9plus, did i mention for the last 9 days its been 100+ weather. holy fuck i think my jeep will over heat every time it starts. do you know how much that fucking SUCKS? well it sucks a lot!)
well in good news: i should have my furniture paid off by the end of august.. so then i can start of the BANK OF AMERICA card that united airways fucking over charged many many many many many times (1750 dollars worth.. can you believe that shit.. because of a glitch in their computer.. biggest set of bollocks i've ever heard)
and my hair is due for a really good dye job.. shiiiiit. my red is all faded and stuff i need to spark it back up.
and why the fuck and I a complete retard when it comes to SSgt Birchy-poo? Who fucking knows. LOLOLOL
but yeah i feel like ass hole so i am going to go to bed. or maybe it up cvs and get some nyquil and then pass the fuck out. any comments?
PLEASE?
WHAT?
{EDIT}ps- check this shit out:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_2-hmjgIlh64/Slytx3zYRtI/AAAAAAAAAQs/77Wtcioeth4/s400/Bow.gif
that was done by a mr. karl christian (he's up in my friends list if you want to check the rest out!) and it totally made my day! HOLY FUCK! I <3 clara
current music: PYT- MJ
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Friday, May 22nd, 2009
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7:24 pm - BACK IN ACTION
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Saturday, December 27th, 2008
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5:23 am - Zoloft
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well i got perscribed some medication today
and my stomach really hurts.. and i have a killer head ache..
i MUST persevere!!!!!
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Friday, December 26th, 2008
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7:32 am - .... the shooting of the reindeer
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so i have concluded that the military shot down santas sleigh last night
we had this really gamey weird meat for dinner.... POSSIBLY MAYBE SANTA'S REINDEER? that is what i am thinking.
well on the internet chat thing i'm on at work.. for work... (odd right?) they were being silly and pretended to see santa and all that crazyness.
but all is well and jolly in Iraq... minus my stomach and ass
i have no clue what is going on down there.. i just hope it gets worse and i loose some weight. HAHAHA maybe get riotously sick and loose some more.
god knows i need it. i bought pants off of AE.com and shit man i can't fit into them and they are the same size as i always buy.
fucking military getting me fatter.
HAHA
WELL I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A MERRY CHRISTMAS/HUNNUKA/KWANZA/FESTIVAS
LOLZ
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